"The purpose of healing is not to remove suffering but to move through it to an enlarged consciousness that can sustain the polarity of painful opposites" James Hollis
(hand of the mysteries - transformation)
One of the most influential effects of my own growth and transformation was a deep understanding of the powerful energy my shadow held in each interaction I encountered. In the simplest of terms, Jung defines shadow as qualities one possesses that are rarely held in the first person consciousness. These shadow qualities of oneself are held deep inside, hidden with no intention of seeing the light of day — they are lesser qualities, including fear, depression, anger, jealousy, rage, envy. and the list goes on.
"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." Carl Jung
An involuntary resistance to confront these shadow qualities forces them into ones subconscious, into a deep dark cradle where they exert enormous influence over our conscious life choices. I see this shadow quality as an energy that cannot sustain itself once it is brought to light. Once exposed it dissipates immediately in what some have called a liberation of consciousness. One of the most critical teachings in Jung's shadow work that I have found is his insistence on not merely recognizing the shadow qualities and bringing these aspects to light, but something much deeper, it is the integration of all these qualities and aspects within ourselves.
What can this mean? Let's assume a desperately jealous person harbors this as a shadow quality and it is a corrosive permeation of every relationship he or she has. Having the courage to bring this subconscious energy to light by working on it with a therapist, shaman, or through meditation to understand the genesis of this aspect, deep within, provides an understanding of "why" and many stop right there. A deeper integration begins at this point by not only understanding but embracing this as a true part of oneself. Guess what? I can be a very loving person who is also jealous at times. I will never be rid of jealously because it is part of my human condition. To accept integration is a step toward individuation; I believe this is my work here on earth. The absolute truth of my ayahuasca experience in August was an expedited path to individuation. Ayahuasca is known to bring one to his or her knees by facing ones shadows and allowing them to move directly to the light. And that was my experience.
For me, the healing approach I have when moments of jealously arrive at my doorstep is to greet it and remind myself -- yes, this is part of me too. One trick I've learned is the more you welcome these less desirable shadow qualities inside yourself the less time they stay. When you keep them locked outside the door, they tend to camp there for extended periods of time. They desperately want to come to light and I believe this is the rhythm of the psyche. I envision these less than noble qualities to have the temperament of a tired and hungry infant screaming until they are fed.
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek." Joseph Campbell
Unifying opposites is where the work resides, so how does this work? What good can come of embracing what we deem to be horrible unrealized aspects of ourselves?
It takes a great deal of energy to keep your shadow qualities in the dark. A full integration is the way to free your energy -- it reminds me of an old adage "what we resist persists". I have found this to be true in my shadow work.
I often think, this is the one dance I have on earth and I want to embrace my full humanity. In order to do this I must bring love to the idea that in my psyche resides it all --- the deepest love and the loudest rage. I am human and there is room for all of this.
I would suggest being curious about the subconscious aspects of yourself - your dreams, the thought of experiences that make you cringe at your behavior, the paralyzing fear for no apparent reason. I have found that to be where the 'gold' resides and it makes for an interesting life journey.
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